Thank you for the articles in the May Briefing on singleness and fending off non-Christian men. Both were incredibly encouraging for me. I am one whose singleness has been chosen for me, and it gets harder as I get older. One of the hardest things is the feeling of not being pretty enough or godly enough to be chosen by a Christian man. Yes, there are more Christian women than Christian men. But there are still some Christian men, and none of them want to marry me. I know this is under God’s sovereign control, but I still feel ugly and, well, not chosen. It is a battle in my head and, as I get older and remain unchosen for longer, the wrong voices are the ones that shout the loudest.
And so when a non-Christian man takes an interest in me (which happens more often than you’d think), the temptation is very real—even if I’m not particularly attracted to him. It is just so nice to feel attractive and feminine and wanted. The temptation to flirt (at the very least) is incredibly strong. This surprises me (although it shouldn’t), because I really don’t want to marry a non-Christian. My stepfather is not Christian, and although he doesn’t mind mum giving her time and money to church, it’s very sad that she goes to everything on her own and can’t share the most important person in her life with her husband. It’s a lonely way to be married, and it’s a lonely way to be Christian. I know a few women in this situation, and the ones that love God tell me to marry a Christian or stay single. The others are—to be blunt—hardly the picture of someone devoted to Christ. I suppose you have to choose who you love the most: God or your husband. I never want to have to make that choice. I would honestly rather stay single for life than marry a non-Christian.
And yet it’s still so easy to play with fire when the situation arises. So to the anonymous lady who shared her recent struggle with this kind of temptation, I say a heartfelt “Well done”. And thank you. Stand firm in the Lord, my beloved sister. Be steadfast, immovable, knowing that in the Lord, your labour is not in vain.
